Here is my share (?) take on the greatest invention which I hope you enjoy reading. ( it.)
Tony can you please check it and give me your feedback?
I'm looking forward to hearing your comments :)
Take care.
The greatest Invention in history
The motor car (Cars)
Cars are a very important invention, as they have provided people with a means of transportation.
Before the creation of cars people used to travel by horses which consumed a lot of time to reach their destinations, and horses needed to get some rest or they needed to be changed from one stop to the other, whereas cars only need to be refueled in one of the many petrol stations which are scattered abundantly.
Moreover, cars minimized the duration of time to reach people’s destinations, thus many people use cars as their mode of transportation. Also, cars are designed to provide people with comfort while traveling.
Although the manufacturing of cars brought many benefits, it also created some negative aspects.
One of the most important drawbacks of making cars is pollution, as the number of cars keeps on increasing and alternative fuels have not yet been discovered. Pollution can be divided into two types, type one is air pollution which is created by car exhausts, and the other type is the noise pollution made by cars.
Another drawback of cars is the need to build roads which lead to the withdrawing of large areas of land from agricultural use.
In conclusion, cars are a very important invention which gave people a mode of transportation and reduced travel time. However, manufacturing cars have many disadvantages such as air and noise pollution.
Thank you, Mouza! I have highlighted possible improvements in red.
Like Saeeda, you seem reluctant to use the Present Perfect? Why?
Try to correct your mistakes by editing this post.
Students, I can EDIT any post, because I am the weblog ADMINISTRATOR. When you start submitting me formal IELTS writing, either here or in class, I will highlight your errors and expect YOU to correct YOUR mistakes. This is how we learn. I shall give you my "Correction Code" for Writing mistakes. I shall also give you a Vocabulary record keeping sheet.
You should NEVER repeat the same word in ONE sentence or in a FOLLOWING sentence or in the same paragraph. To get the magic band 7.0 we need a range of vocabulary used appropriately and joined together with linking words to form coherent paragraphs. IELTS likes paragraphs to be used - it structures your writing admirably!
Is that enough feedback, my dear Mouza?
Tony
ps "The car" comes in at #23 on the list!!!
The motor car (Cars)
Cars are a very important invention, as they have provided people with a means of transportation.
Before the creation of cars people used to travel by horses which consumed a lot of time to reach their destinations, and horses needed to get some rest or they needed to be changed from one stop to the other, whereas cars only need to be refueled in one of the many petrol stations which are scattered abundantly.
Moreover, cars minimized the duration of time to reach people’s destinations, thus many people use cars as their mode of transportation. Also, cars are designed to provide people with comfort while traveling.
Although the manufacturing of cars brought many benefits, it also created some negative aspects.
One of the most important drawbacks of making cars is pollution, as the number of cars keeps on increasing and alternative fuels have not yet been discovered. Pollution can be divided into two types, type one is air pollution which is created by car exhausts, and the other type is the noise pollution made by cars.
Another drawback of cars is the need to build roads which lead to the withdrawing of large areas of land from agricultural use.
In conclusion, cars are a very important invention which gave people a mode of transportation and reduced travel time. However, manufacturing cars have many disadvantages such as air and noise pollution.
Thank you, Mouza! I have highlighted possible improvements in red.
Like Saeeda, you seem reluctant to use the Present Perfect? Why?
Try to correct your mistakes by editing this post.
Students, I can EDIT any post, because I am the weblog ADMINISTRATOR. When you start submitting me formal IELTS writing, either here or in class, I will highlight your errors and expect YOU to correct YOUR mistakes. This is how we learn. I shall give you my "Correction Code" for Writing mistakes. I shall also give you a Vocabulary record keeping sheet.
You should NEVER repeat the same word in ONE sentence or in a FOLLOWING sentence or in the same paragraph. To get the magic band 7.0 we need a range of vocabulary used appropriately and joined together with linking words to form coherent paragraphs. IELTS likes paragraphs to be used - it structures your writing admirably!
Is that enough feedback, my dear Mouza?
Tony
ps "The car" comes in at #23 on the list!!!
1 comment:
Hello active member
I believe you are the person who has the most free time, I would like to ask you, do you have children, i.e. are you married?and how quick are you in typing ?I like all your comments, and I believe you will pass the exam easily
Good luck and good night.
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