Academic Writing Task 1: Cambridge Book 3 Page 97

See edited / error highlighted version below:

The line graph shows the unemployment rates in the countries US and Japan, between March 1993 and March 1999.

In the US, unemployment started in March 1993 by a 7.0 percentage of work force. It gradually kept fluctuating slighty between March 1993 to March 1994, from 6.5 to 6.0 percentage of work force. In between March 1994 to March 1995, the unemployment rates decreased from 6.3 to 5.5 percent. However, the duration between March 1995 to March 1996, the unemployment rates stayed in between 6.0 to 5.5 percentage of work force. Lastly, starting from March 1996 to March1999, the unemployment rates did not exceed below 4.5 percentage of work force.

The opposite happened in Japan. It started off by 2.5 percentage of work force in March 1993. From March 1993 to March 1996, the unemployment rates gradually increased up to 4.4 percentage of work force. In March 1996 till one year after, unemployment was decreased and people found more jobs. Therefore, the unemployment rate stayed steady till March 1998. From March 1998 to March 1999, unemployment had risen and continued for some time.

In general, it is very clear that during March 1993 to March 1999, US unemployment rates decreased over these years while Japan's unemployment rates increased gradually over these years.

The line graph shows the unemployment rates in the countries of the United States and Japan, between March 1993 and March 1999.

In the US, unemployment started in March 1993 by (prep) 7.0 percentage of the work force. It kept fluctuating downwards in a gradual fashion between March 1993 to March 1994, from 6.5 to 6.0 percent of the work force. Between March 1994 and March 1995, the unemployment rates decreased from 6.3 to 5.5 percent. However, in the period from March 1995 to March 1996, the unemployment rates stayed between 6.0 to 5.5 percent of the work force. Lastly, starting from March 1996 to March 1999, the unemployment rates did not exceed (WC) below 4.5 percent of the work force.

The opposite happened in Japan. It started off by (prep) 2.5 percentage of ___ work force in March 1993. From March 1993 to March 1996, the unemployment rates gradually increased to 4.4 percent of ____ work force. In March 1996 until one year later, unemployment was decreased (G) and people found more jobs. Therefore, the unemployment rate stayed steady till March 1998. From March 1998 to March 1999, unemployment had risen (G) and continued for some time.
[What about the convergence of the graphs from March 98 to March 99?]

In general, it is clear that during this six year period, March 1993 to March 1999, US unemployment rates saw a downturn, while Japan's unemployment rates showed a consistent upward trend.

Excellent work! Mona has thrown down the gauntlet! Try to edit my uncorrected highlights above, Mona, and republish.

To start off with, Mona was a bit 'lost at sea' regarding Academic Task 1 writing. She has listened and learned from her mistakes and now she is well on track for a good IELTS score.

The rest of you, simply showing up to class is NOT enough!

Waiting to hear from you. Stand by for similar "Tony treatment" of work posted on the blog.

Enjoy the weekend, or else!

Mona and Tony